As long as anyone believes that his ideal and purpose is outside him,
that it is above the clouds, in the past or in the future, he will go
outside himself and seek fulfillment where it cannot be found.
He will look for solutions and answers at every point
except where they can be found – in himself.
– Erich Fromm
Working with Adults
Lale Akhrass, Integrative Psychotherapist:
“In working with people from different walks of life and backgrounds, I have seen them struggle with many unresolved problems from their childhood. This includes unmet needs, abuse, neglect, or difficult family circumstances. Others are affected by difficulties that have afflicted their family for generations. Too many are experiencing unrecognised childhood trauma, which I define as the wound or injury caused by the threatening effect of an event or series of events, rather than the event itself. They seem to live life disconnected, to take on roles to just get by, and to be stuck in their old patterns of coping or surviving that no longer work for them. They want to change and move forward, but they are afraid or are unable to despite talking to friends and family members, reading self-help books, or willing themselves to change.”
The Whole-Person Approach
By exploring innate emotions, thoughts and behaviours together in connection with bodily affective states, in a safe and containing space, the wounded parts can begin to heal. Paying attention to what is happening in the moment, with emphasis on the containment of felt experiences, is central. The process is like a journey that takes us to the darkest recesses of your self to move to a place of light and recovery. If talking is too difficult or has not helped in the past, the therapeutic process can occur creatively by using sand tray, art, drawing, clay, poetry or writing. These are very effective and powerful ways to shed light on what is unconscious or difficult to see or feel. Additionally, focus on somatic experiences can facilitate change, especially if you have suffered traumatic experiences.
What is held deep in your mind and body can gently come to the surface so it can be explored and understood, bringing with it a sense of wholeness and equanimity. Feelings of ‘stuckness’ melt away, and you begin to embody a healthier meaning of your experiences. You can see that you no longer have to be controlled by your past or your unconscious emotions. Your are on a path of recovery when you begin to connect to all the parts of yourself. Also, internal space expands so meaningful insights develop. You begin to see, feel and choose a way to live more fully, authentically and with greater vitality and joy.
By Nguyen Vu Xuan Lan