Working with Children and Young People

Seeing a specialised psychotherapist is worth considering when your child or adolescent is facing:

Developmental delays
Sexual, physical or emotional abuse
Trauma, loss and attachment difficulties
Signs of emotional distress, sadness or depression
Excessive anxiety, aggression and self-harm
Social withdrawal and isolation
Selective mutism
Problems with separation, divorce or relocation
Bereavement issues

Significant changes in their behaviour, appetite and school performance
Excessive school absenteeism or tardiness
Development of, or an increase in, physical complaints despite no medical reasons
Signs of alcohol, drug or other substance abuse
And other psychological or emotional issues

If a child lives with criticism: It learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility: It learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule: It learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame: It learns to be guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance: It learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement: It learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise: It learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness: It learns justice.

If a child lives with security: It learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval: It learns to like itself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship: It learns to find love both in itself and in the world.

– ANONYMOUS

Youthful Approach

Lale Akhrass, Integrative Psychotherapist:

“I have extensive experience working with children and teenagers of all ages, who see me for a variety of complex reasons. Overall, my approach centres on understanding the unique problems, and emotional, and developmental needs of each child or teenager. Although I account for their life history, we explore and work on issues and difficulties that affect them in the present. The first step is to make sure the child or teenager feels psychologically safe enough to share their struggles with me.

Attunement, containment and empathic communication are some of the skills used to build a connection with the child or teenager, and to engage them in positive ways and allow their transformative process to unfold. Containment means to bear the intensity of distressing feelings without dismissing them or trying to make it better for the person. This allows the child or teenager to work through their difficult feelings rather than defending against them.

Play therapy, sand play, and other creative techniques such as drawing and storytelling are offered to help the child reveal their inner world, the complexity of their emotions, and the crux of the difficulties. Creative drama, role play and movement also allow me to help them to work through very painful experiences, to make sense of their emotions, and to find a way forward. Though teenagers often prefer to talk, many choose to work with the sand, art, music and creative writing.

I aim to help children and teenagers build sufficient internal resources that enables them to bear and talk about the core emotions that are blocking their ability to thrive. In time, they develop self-awareness and insight, which are necessary for social and emotional resilience, and assist them in making healthier choices.”

The Main Challenge

When a child or teenager suffers emotional pain, this shows in their thoughts and actions. They have no idea why they are suffering or hurting those closest to them; nor can they be expected to understand or cope alone. Unequipped with the internal resources required, they begin to believe there is something fundamentally wrong with them. This flawed self-belief can have a devastating impact on their development, relationships and learning, especially if their painful experiences occurred in very early infancy, when the foundations of the emerging self are laid.

If unattended, the problems may temporarily disappear, only to resurface later. If trauma is experienced, a wound is encoded deep in the body (its physiology) and in relational trauma, in the brain too.

A traumatised child’s life is hijacked by their distress because they will enact the unprocessed, unendurable emotions that have been triggered internally or externally even when the threat no longer exists in reality. Intervention as early as possible is advisable to help them with the emotional difficulties, trauma and loss, not only to reduce the impact of their suffering, but to restore psychological health quicker.