“Parent-child relationships offer one very important part of the early experience that directly shapes a child’s emerging personality. Emotional intelligence, self-esteem, cognitive abilities, and social skills are built on this early attachment relationship. How parents have reflected on their lives directly shapes the nature of that relationship… Yet even those with overwhelmingly difficult past experiences can come to resolve those issues and have meaningful and rewarding relationships with their children. More important for our children than merely what happened to us in the past is the way we have come to process and understand it. The opportunity to change and grow continues to be available throughout our lives.” – Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell, Parenting from the Inside Out
Working with Parents
Parenting can be extremely challenging. Turning to a specialised psychotherapist is a good course of action when:
- You are struggling to make sense of your child’s emotional and behavioural difficulties.
- You aren’t sure how to repair a deteriorating relationship with your child or teenager.
- You have become deeply affected by memories and feelings from your own childhood. Some parents may need help preventing generational issues from being passed on to their children.
- The normal stresses of parenting have become overwhelming and you need support to reduce anxiety and exhaustion so you can become more confident parents.
- You are faced with other challenges.
The Important Link
Modern research shows that children’s psychological health is intricately connected with the parents’ emotional and mental health. The ability to manage your state of mind and feelings (learnt in infancy from your primary carers), allows you to remain consistently receptive and positively engaged with your children. This is essential for their healthy development, especially when you are stressed or having powerful emotions. So, working with parents is fundamental to enriching the lives of families and children. It cultivates mutually rewarding and enduring relationships with those you love deeply.
The Parent to Parents Approach
Lale Akhrass, Integrative Psychotherapist:
“No matter how bleak the situation seems, or how lost and inadequate you may feel, you can become more effective parents if you look within yourselves. This is not just to develop valuable insights, but to connect with the inherent wisdom that you possess as parents. Because I am also a parent, I offer a practical and common sense approach to parenthood, however, I refrain from giving parenting tips and advice. Though each case is unique, my approach is to explore the issues in a non-judgemental manner and to allow a space for open curiosity so things unfold. In this way, we can make sense of the problems that are challenging you as parents and discover resources that will help you to parent. This inner journey will enable you to nurture your unique style of parenting. This in turn builds a closer and joyful connection with your child and makes it easier for you to resolve conflicts, care for them, and meet their emotional needs.”